Hey kids! Gather around the computer and take a gander at this week’s NOMonster! Bringing you the Zombie Springtime Easter Special Of Doom: Zombie Jesus & The Chaos Critter Cookies! This is a tasty and sugary treat for the upcoming “Easter” holiday. Fun for humans of all ages!
***Please note: Zombie Jesus is a figment of imagination, and happens to be close neighbors with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This is not meant to offend or insult, just to look at something a different way. They say he came back from the dead. If the media has taught us anything, that defines a Zombie (but a good one at that).
For cookie cutters, the 99 Cents store had a springtime variety pack (bunny, bird, lamb, egg with chicken legs poking out), which worked great! The humans were done using a regular Gingerbread Man cookie cutter.
* 3 cups all-purpose flour
* 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
* 1 cup sugar
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 tablespoon milk
* Powdered sugar, for rolling out dough
Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. Place butter and sugar in large bowl of electric stand mixer and beat until light in color. Add egg and milk and beat to combine. Put mixer on low speed, gradually add flour, and beat until mixture pulls away from the side of the bowl. Divide the dough in half, wrap in waxed paper, and refrigerate for 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Sprinkle surface where you will roll out dough with powdered sugar. Remove 1 wrapped pack of dough from refrigerator at a time, sprinkle rolling pin with powdered sugar, and roll out dough to 1/4-inch thick. Move the dough around and check underneath frequently to make sure it is not sticking. If dough has warmed during rolling, place cold cookie sheet on top for 10 minutes to chill. Cut into desired shape, place at least 1-inch apart on greased baking sheet, parchment, or silicone baking mat, and bake for 7 to 9 minutes or until cookies are just beginning to turn brown around the edges, rotating cookie sheet halfway through baking time. Let sit on baking sheet for 2 minutes after removal from oven and then move to complete cooling on wire rack.
Going for simplicity, only three colors were used: White, Red, Black.
* 1 tub Vanilla (white) tub frosting (Betty Crocker for this recipe)
* Wilton’s Icing Colors Red & Black
* 3 bowls
* 3 squeeze bottles
* Wilton’s Meringue Powder
Divide tub icing between the three bowls. Add 1 teaspoon of Meringue Powder to each bowl, and fold in carefully. This will keep the icing colors from bleeding together. Add in the icing dye into two of the bowls until the preferred shade of red and black are attained.
Move the icing from the bowl into it’s own squeeze bottle. Start decorating!
What screams “The Holiday Season” more than Zombie Chocolate Bon Bons (with gooey cherry brains)? Can you think of a better way to curl up with your Sweetie, than with a box of these, and a showing of “Shaun of the Dead” as you wait with baited breath for the Robot Santa Claus to come barreling down the chimney with his assortment of X-mas themed weaponry? Ya, thought not.
These are delivered to the door, and come in a tastefully blood-splattered formal-style chocolate box. Treats come 6 to a box, and just one piece alone is enough of a serving (close to the size of a toddler’s palm). Inside, the wailing faces of zombies adorned the tops of these dark chocolates, with fondant-style-”died”-red highlights on the mouth or head (randomly mixed), which bleed into the inside and surrounded the candied cherry cordial. You bite into one of these, and it has a gloriously thick chocolate bottom to it. Double taps aren’t required to put this down, but double bites are!
5 out 6 anti-zombie-sweets&chocolate-loving pub goers favored these confections. It was discovered that the odd-one out didn’t like dark chocolate to begin with, nor the cherry cordial, but ate it anyways. This is a truly fun, unique, and tasty gift for others… or for yourself (your secret’s safe).